


Like coming home

by Evilsnotbag



Series: The Owl House 'Lunar Eclipse' AU [13]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family, Fluff, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Lumity, Menstruation, PMS, Slow Burn, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29839590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilsnotbag/pseuds/Evilsnotbag
Summary: This is part 12,5 (technically 13) of my The Owl House ‘Lunar Eclipse’ AU. Please read previous parts for context.More info in the notes!
Relationships: Amity Blight & Eda Clawthorne, Amity Blight & Lilith Clawthorne, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne, Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda
Series: The Owl House 'Lunar Eclipse' AU [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765585
Comments: 67
Kudos: 216





	Like coming home

**Author's Note:**

> We interrupt your not-regularly-scheduled-at-all fanfic Lunar Eclipse to bring you this relatively short venty thing. I know I said the next part of Lunar Eclipse was gonna be the last one in this particular arc. Welp. I wrote this super venty thing a while back and couldn’t really fit it into the actual final part, and I like it, and the last part isn’t done and I haven’t uploaded anything in a while, so y’all’re getting a bonus part that is pure Amity and Lilith hurt/comfort. Enjoy.

##  ****Like coming home** **

##  ****1** **

Amity had a surprisingly good morning. And a pretty good early afternoon. But during her second to last lesson, she started to feel... _sad._ And a little sick to her stomach. And her clothes felt uncomfortable, somehow. It all came and went, but it made it very hard to concentrate.

Luz picked her up from school, as per usual, which made Amity feel much better. When they arrived at The Owl House, they went up to Luz’s room to do homework. King joined them with his coloring books and crayons.

Amity tried her best to get on with her school work, but she kept losing track. She really didn’t want to get behind on homework again. She knew that she would feel better if she could just finish her assignments for today - so she pressed on. After a while though, she started to get a funny feeling in her stomach.

_Oh god, am I getting my moon time? Now?! It hasn’t even been three weeks!_ She got to her feet quickly.

“You okay?” Luz asked.

“Yeah, just... need the bathroom,” Amity said as she tried not to hurry out the door.

In the bathroom, Amity sighed as she pulled down her leggings. To her relief, surprise and confusion, there was no sign of blood. She sat and stared miserably at her knees for a while, wondering why she was feeling so awful on and off _and_ having a stomach ache when there was no bloody reason for it - _at all -_

_Maybe I’m getting sick? Oh no, I can’t miss_ ** _ **any more**_** _school..._ She sighed and reached for the toilet paper, but found the roll empty.

The sound of footsteps moving on the stairs broke her out of her miserable musings.

“Luz?” she called carefully.

“Mmmnope,” Eda said with a chuckle. “Just sent her into town to get something for dinner. You didn’t hear her calling up the stairs?”

“Uhh... No.” Amity’s forehead wrinkled; she hadn’t heard a thing.

“Well, she’ll be right back.”

“Okay...” Amity sounded troubled.

“... Something wrong?”

_Yes._

“N-no?” Amity cringed. She didn’t sound convincing, even to herself. She covered her eyes with one hand. “I-I mean, uh, where do you keep the um - the toilet paper?”

“Should be some in the cupboard next to you.” After a moment, Eda added; “... Yyyou know where the willow bark tea is, if you need some, right?”

“Uh... I-I think so?” Amity squeaked, feeling her cheeks burn. Oh god, she felt so _exposed._ They were practically having a conversation _while she was on the toilet._ She wanted to correct Eda and say that it _wasn’t_ what she thought it was - or maybe it was? Maybe you could get cramps _without_ being on your moon time? Lilith had said something about mid-moon time and things hurting _differently_ then, or something? Lilith had also said that she could go to Eda with questions, but... Amity just couldn’t bring herself to ask Eda _while sitting on the toilet_ feeling awful. She just wanted to _hide_. Without really making a conscious decision to do so, she pulled up her hood before reaching for the cupboard.

On the other side of the door, Eda tutted and rolled her eyes in a concerned way, then took a breath.

“It’s... alright, kiddo. There are hot water bottles in the cupboard with the purple door in the kitchen. And... under the sink, on the left, there’s a secret stash of chocolate, have some if you like but don’t - tell - _King_ \- alright?”

“A-alright,” Amity answered shakily. The stomach ache - or the cramps or whatever they were, were really starting to take hold now. She felt the tears well up and shook her head in confusion at the accompanying wave of intense sadness. 

“I gotta go move some stock around, so I’ll be a bit all over the place, just... shout if you need something, alright?”

“O-okay.”

Despite how she was feeling, Amity was relieved to hear footsteps moving away again.

With some tea and a hot water bottle, things wouldn’t hurt so much, Amity figured. So she decided to head downstairs. Once there, she leaned her hands on the sink and closed her eyes while she waited for the water to boil. Why did it have to take so _long?_

After an eternity, the kettle sang and she hurried to make a cup of tea and fill the hot water bottle. She just wanted to go _hide._ Where could she hide in the Owl House? King was in Luz’s room. The front room where they played games sometimes was too exposed. Same with the kitchen. Outside? Also exposed. Bathroom? No, what if someone needed to use it? As she stood there, lost in anxious thought, Eda came down the stairs.

She took one look at Amity’s face and stopped in the middle of putting a box full of junk down on the kitchen table.

“You... alright there, kid?” she asked carefully.

Amity’s eyes widened slightly as they glanced at Eda.

A memory of happening upon deer in the forest flashed across Eda’s mind. She slowly put the box down, then stood up straight.

_She looks ready to bolt out the door_ , she thought. _What do I do here? Gotta start somewhere._

“Do you... want company or alone time. Pick one,” she said it slowly, first holding up her right hand, then her left. 

Amity blinked at her, then pointed to Eda’s left. Eda nodded in a business like manner, then turned her head and shouted; “King!” over her shoulder. “Get down here and bring your stuff!”

“But I’m coloring!” came a petulant reply from upstairs.

“There’s chocolate!”

There was a scrabble and a skitter, then King scurried down the stairs, jumped onto the table, dumped his coloring book and crayons onto it, then held up his hands and said; “Gimme!”

Eda looked at Amity, then nodded her head toward the stairs. Amity didn’t need telling twice.

“Thank you,” she said in a whisper as she passed behind Eda.

“Don’t worry about it,” Eda muttered back.

Amity hurried up the stairs, trying not to spill the tea. Once she was back inside Luz’s room, she closed the door behind her, put down the tea and hot water bottle, took off her shoes, then sat down on Luz’s old sleeping bag, which she had more or less claimed as her own since Luz got a proper bed. She took a long gulp of the rather too hot tea, then grabbed the bottle, lay down on her side and curled into a little ball. She pulled the extra blanket over her head. When she was finally hidden, the tears came. She didn’t know why she felt so _alone_... The feeling was just _there_ and so _big_... It didn’t make sense? Nothing _bad_ had happened today! And just now, Eda had been kind to her. Helped her. Like it wasn’t a big deal, but she hadn’t made Amity feel like it _wasn’t not_ a big deal, either. She hadn’t made fun of her. She had... understood Amity wasn’t feeling well and wanted to be left alone. Why did that make her feel even _more_ sad?

##  ****2** **

Eda looked up at the ceiling. It worried her to see Amity do the whole “retreating” thing again. She was pretty sure Luz or Lily would be able to coax her out of the room, whenever they got to the house. She knew better than to try to invade Amity’s space. Just like when Eda and Lily were kids, Eda could feel the difference between a “I need to be _alone_ alone”-mood and a “I want some company but I can’t really _ask_ for it”-mood. This felt more like the first kind of mood. Or it was the second kind of mood, but Eda was the wrong person.

She sorted the merchandise, half-listening to King as he told her about his drawings. After a while, there was a knock at the door. Eda glanced at the clock - it was a bit later than she’d thought. She went to open.

“Hey, sis,” she greeted with a sigh.

Lilith gave her a sharp look and straightened her back, shrugging the tiredness off herself like a cloak.

“What’s. Wrong,” she inquired in an intense voice.

“ _Nothing_ big,” Eda held up her hands calmingly. “Pretty sure Amity got her moon time, is all.”

“... Oh.” Lilith raised a hand to her heart and let out a tight sigh.

“A little early, isn’t it?” Eda asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I think it’s been...” Lilith let out a longer sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose - it had been a long day - then rubbed her forehead before looking at Eda again. “Three weeks. Where is she?”

“Luz’s room.” Eda nodded her head toward the ceiling. “She made some tea and has a hot water bottle. Wanted to be alone, I think.”

Lilith gave Eda a confused look. “... Where’s Luz?”

“Sent her into town to get some dinner ingredients I forgot.”

“I see... I’d... better go check on Amity.”

“Yeah.” Eda stepped aside and Lilith walked past her.

Outside Luz’s room, Lilith hesitated a moment, then knocked gently on the door.

“Amity, it’s me. May I... come in?” she asked in a careful voice.

There was a muffled ‘Okay’ from inside. When Lilith opened the door, she found the girl lying on the sleeping bag on the floor, curled into a little ball under a blanket. There was a sniffle.

“Oh...” she tutted and sighed softly.

_The poor little thing..._

She walked inside and took a seat on the carpet next to Amity’s head. “How are you feeling, my dear?”

Amity sniffed and swallowed - and didn’t meet Lilith’s gaze.

“I...” Amity swallowed again and closed her eyes tight and whispered; “I think I have cramps...”

Lilith saw Amity’s shoulders rise and her face take on an expression as if she was bracing herself for some sort of blow. Lilith had to tell herself very firmly that this was _not_ a moment where she should initiate physical contact, no matter how powerful the urge to hug Amity was. Instead, she took a breath and forced herself to relax. She knew Amity had a hard time talking about this subject.

“Thank you for telling me, little one,” she said in a soft voice. “I see you’ve had some tea. Do you have a hot water bottle, too?” She already knew the answer to that, but wanted to keep the conversation going.

Amity nodded in response, then slowly looked up at Lilith’s face. When their eyes met, a lot of tension left Amity’s features - her entire body, in fact. The warm, worried expression in Lilith’s eyes was so... comforting. She let out a long, slightly shaky breath. Then her lower lip started to tremble. Lilith’s eyebrows drew together further and she leaned in a little closer.

“Did Edalyn... say something... _unkind?”_ she asked carefully.

Amity shook her head and managed to look even more distressed, somehow.

“No, she was really n-nice, she _helped_ me,” she managed, then raised a hand to cover her mouth. “I don’t know what’s _wrong_ with me.” Her whispered words were muffled. “Nothing _bad_ has happened and _it_ hasn’t even _started_... I feel _so_ ** _ **silly**_** _._.. ”

Lilith’s eyebrows rose high. “If... you haven’t started bleeding yet, I think... you might be experiencing _Lunae Ortus_. Have you... heard that term?”

Amity shook her head and sniffed again.

“Alright. You remember when I told you about the moon cycle?”

Amity nodded.

“It _is_ a cycle, so it affects us every day of the month. In different ways. Mostly, it’s unnoticeable. But wanting to be alone... feeling... upset, or irritable, or extra tired, or _bloated,_ or... like you just want to cry - those are all symptoms of Lunae Ortus - the rising moon; the week or days, before your moon time is due. What you’re feeling is most certainly not... _silliness_ , it’s... the effect of hormone changes within your body. It’s completely natural. It’s not uncommon to have cramps, or feel nauseated, or get headaches. The same symptoms are common during ovulation as well.”

Amity looked up at her with eyes filled with unshed tears.

“Is itgoing to be like this _every time?”_ she asked, looking more miserable still.

“Not necessarily,” Lilith said in an apologetic tone and shook her head gently. “Has it been like this _before?”_

“I don’t know...”

Lilith gave her an understanding smile.

“It _might_ be like this, _sometimes_ , but... it _changes_... Sometimes, you don’t even notice. Other times... it can be _very_ noticeable. The best thing to do is... to try to go with the flow, as it were. And to be _aware_... of where you are in your cycle. If you find that you’re reacting in a way that you wouldn’t normally, it might be because of the hormones. Keeping notes of when you feel a certain way can be really helpful, too. But that’s easier said than done, especially if you’re a little... irregular.” Lilith gave Amity a sympathetic look and a faint smile. “Your cycle will stabilize and become more predictable as you grow older.” She took a breath. “I... tend to have a shorter fuse during both my Lunae Ortus and ovulation, and... as you might have noticed, I do get... a little _sensitive_ during my actual moon time.” She clasped her hands in her lap and let out a sad, gentle sigh. “But _knowing_ that that’s _normal_ for me... helps me deal with those feelings. If I _know_ I’m more sensitive, I can remind myself of that fact and distance myself from things a little.” After a moment she made a semi-reluctant shrug and added; “Sometimes.”

Amity looked at Lilith’s hands, wanting her to stroke her hair. Then she looked at Lilith’s tummy and remembered with a guilty sting in her heart how much worse her mentor’s pain was, compared to her own. It made her feel... very ashamed of how she was acting.

_I’m being a bother_ _,_ she thought wretchedly. _An over-dramatic,_ ** _ **silly**_** _,_ _bother._

Lilith saw Amity’s expression begin to close down again.

“Amity?” Lilith tried gently. “I’m... worried about you. Please talk to me...” Her thumbs rubbed against each other anxiously. The movement caught Amity’s eye.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered after a moment.

“... Whatever for, my dear?” Lilith asked in surprise. Her thumbs stopped moving.

“You... you and _Luz_ have it much worse than I do and - and Eda, too...” Amity had to blink rapidly to keep the tears at bay. “I’m - I’m just - just being a _bother!”_

Lilith’s chest went tight and cold. If Amity used that particular phrase, she was not in a good place. It was time for drastic measures. Lilith carefully unfolded her legs, then lay down on her side on the floor, so her face was on the same level as Amity’s. She knew she would regret it later, but a little physical pain was a price she was more than willing to pay to help the child she now thought of as her own get through a difficult moment.

“Little one,” she began in a soft but serious tone. “You are not, and I can’t see how you would ever _become_ , a bother to me. We all have days or moments when we feel...” Lilith slowly shook her head. “... _Bad,_ in any sense of the word. Everyone does. Just... because I might feel a different _amount_ of pain, on a different... _schedule_ than you, that doesn’t mean you _don’t_ feel pain. And it absolutely does not mean you’re not allowed to _express distress_ overthat pain to me. Do you understand?”

Amity sniffed and blinked hard, but didn’t look away from her mentor’s concerned gaze. Very slowly, Amity shook her head. It didn’t make sense to her.

_Different angle; simplify,_ Lilith told herself. She took a breath.

“ _My_ pain... and _your_ pain... are - at least - of _equal_ importance to me. I will always care about your pain. No matter if it’s emotional, or physical, or _hormonal_ , nor the _amount_ of it. I will _always_... _care_. It will _always be_ important to me. _You._ Will always be important to me. No matter how much pain I’m in at the time. Do you understand?”

Amity remembered that Lilith had said more or less the same thing before. And even though it was hard to believe, Amity found that she wanted to. Lilith wouldn’t lie about something like this. There was a part of her that _didn’t dare_ tobelieve Lilith, but as Lilith continued to hold her gaze, that part fell silent. She nodded slowly at Lilith, and Lilith let out a little breath and smiled.

“I feel...” Amity began in a strained whisper; it was very hard to say the next word. After several seconds, she managed to force it out. “ _Small_...”

“’Small’?”

“Vuh-vulnerable... A-alone?” 

Lilith nodded gently; Amity’s words resonated with her powerfully. 

The expression on Lilith’s face - _recognition -_ made Amity feel incredibly reassured.

“It’s not a nice feeling, is it?” Lilith said with a tired voice which was nevertheless full of understanding.

“No,” Amity breathed out rather forcefully. Some tension left her shoulders. “Nothing bad happened today but there’s this _sadness..._ ”

Lilith sighed and nodded.

“This... this _sucks_.”

Lilith let out a breath of bitter amusement, then said; “Yes. Yes it does.”

Amity breathed out again. How Lilith was reacting, that she was _agreeing_ with what Amity was saying, that she had an _answer_ to what was going on with her, that she didn’t say ‘don’t be silly’ - it made her feel _understood._ Again, she felt _heard._ She felt _seen._

“Would you... h-hold me?” Amity asked in a breathless voice. Lilith’s look of delighted surprise and subsequent smile and gentle exhalation of relief lifted a heavy weight from Amity’s heart. Lilith’s reaction also silenced the thought that what Amity had just said was something she should never say out loud.

“Yes. Yes, of course,” Lilith said in a quiet, warm tone.

With flushing cheeks, Amity made some room on the sleeping bag and Lilith gratefully (and very carefully) moved onto it. Once she was as comfortable as she could get, she opened her arms and Amity cuddled up to her shyly.

Lilith let out a long, relaxed sigh when she felt Amity’s forehead come to rest against her upper chest. Somehow it felt like coming home after a very long day.

Amity exhaled as Lilith’s hand began to stroke her hair and her eyes fell closed instantly. It felt... like coming home.

Amity couldn’t remember ever lying with her mother like this. Or with any other family member. It felt a _lot_ more intimate than a hug when they were standing upright. They had lain like this once before, but Amity could only remember flashes. She had been too upset to... appreciate it then. Now she could appreciate it. It felt... forbidden, somehow. Like wanting this kind of closeness was bad and not something someone _should_ want. Yet she felt protected. Like she could _be_ as small and vulnerable as she _felt_. It was safe to be hurt here. It was safe to be vulnerable with Lilith, because Lilith was on her side. Lilith understood. She... _understood_... It was safe...

_Home._

Lilith allowed herself a few moments to once again marvel at the trust Amity was showing her, then drew in breath to speak and looked down. And then she closed her mouth and smiled, her eyes filling with tears as rapidly as her chest filled with pride and affection. In the few moments they had been quiet, Amity had fallen asleep. Her heart threatened to burst.

_Oh, my_ ** _ **sweetest**_** _girl,_ Lilith thought as she sniffed and carefully wiped away a tear. She closed her own eyes and let out a long, deeply relieved and contented sigh. _How you honor me..._

##  ****3** **

“Hold on a minute,” Eda said as Luz shut the fridge and turned toward the stairs.

“What? Did I forget to put something away?”

“Nope. Lily went upstairs a while ago, hasn’t come back down. Said she was gonna check on Amity.”

“Is... she okay?” Luz looked alarmed and took a step toward Eda.

“Cramps, I think. She wanted to be alone. So I left her alone.” Eda shrugged noncommittally and took a sip from her cup. She used her leg to push out a chair on the other side of the table. “Take a load off, kid.”

Luz reluctantly took a seat, looking worried.

“I _know_ you want to run up there and... _help_ , or check on her or whatever,” Eda said in a, for her, quite serious tone of voice. “But Lily’s _got_ this, alright?” She raised her eyebrows at Luz and an unmistakably proud smirk spread across her face. Luz breathed out and sat back in her chair.

“Okay,” she said and gave Eda a little smile in return. “Theeen... Could I borrow Owlbert and do some more looping practice?”

“Haven’t you flown enough today?” Eda shook her head and chuckled.

“Nope!”

“Oh, alright.” Eda rolled her eyes dramatically in mock exasperation, then summoned her staff and held it out to Luz. “No broken bones, deal?”

“Deal!”

##  ****4** **

When dinner was just about done, Eda sent Luz to get Amity and Lilith.

Luz knocked lightly on the door.

“Dinner’s almost ready, you guys,” she said. There was no response. She knocked again, a little louder this time. “Amity?”

She waited a few more seconds, then turned the handle and poked her head into the room.

“ _Oh_ my gosh...” she breathed, then covered her mouth and giggled delightedly into her hand. Amity and Lilith were laying together on her old sleeping bag, both fast asleep. Luz had to resist the very powerful urge to take a picture - it was just too darn adorable! She wiggled happily on the spot for a moment, then took a breath. “You gu-uys,” she sang softly. “Dinner’s almost ready...”

Now Lilith inhaled sharply and opened her eyes. She looked blearily at Luz a moment, then closed her eyes again.

“Mmh... What time is it?” she asked hoarsely.

“Half past seven. Ish. Dinner’s almost ready,” Luz said with a smile, not minding at all that this was the third time she’d had to say it.

“Thank you, Luz, we’ll... be down in a minute...”

“Oka-ay, see you downstairs.”

When Luz closed the door, Amity stirred.

“I think we fell asleep,” Lilith said in a whisper.

“’m sorry...” Amity whispered back groggily.

Lilith let out a soft little sound of dissent and slowly shook her head.

“Don’t be... I think both of us needed a little nap.”

Amity felt relieved and let out a breath at her mentor’s words. It was... wonderful to wake up like this. She felt safe and warm. Not... _alone_. But the moment of comfortable bliss didn’t last long. She let out a harsh breath as the dull ache in her belly sharply rose. Her head moved forward as she tensed and curled in on herself.

Lilith made a sympathetic little sound and gently stroked Amity’s back.

“Remember... to breathe,” she whispered soothingly. “Just... breathe...”

Amity dared to lean more of her weight on her mentor’s chest and Lilith responded with a slow exhalation and another stroke over Amity’s back.

Lilith listened to Amity’s breathing, trying to soothe the remaining tension she could feel still residing in her protege’s body. She wanted to make all Amity’s pain go away, but knew that she couldn’t. Once the worst of it had passed, they could go downstairs and Amity could have some more tea. And Lilith herself could take her evening dose of Vosker’s. Which she most certainly needed.

After a little while, Lilith felt Amity relax a bit.

“It passed?” Lilith inquired gently.

“Yeah...”

It was strangely reassuring to Amity that Lilith could just _tell_ it hurt less now.

_It’s like pain is a language, and she’s fluent in it,_ she thought in her still sleep addled mind.

“Good...” Lilith whispered. “When you feel ready, we’ll go downstairs and you can have another cup of tea.” She kept stroking Amity’s back with long, gentle strokes.

“Okay...” Amity murmured, then sniffed. The fact that she didn’t need to get up right this instant was a huge relief. “Th-thank you...”

“You’re most welcome, little one...” Lilith gently placed a kiss on the top of Amity’s head and smiled into her hair a moment. “How was your day?”

“Fine, at first. And then I felt... _off_. And now it’s... better?” Amity felt her cheeks go warm. “How... how was your day?”

“Long... but mostly alright. Right now it’s...” Lilith paused and let out a sigh. “Rather wonderful.”

Amity inhaled and exhaled quickly, then sniffed. Her head burrowed gently into the crook of Lilith’s neck. Hearing Lilith say _out loud_ that this, right here, right now, was _wonderful_ made Amity’s eyes fill with tears of... something. Many things. Relief... _joy_... amazement... She’d had _many_ wonderful moments with Lilith, and every single one of them had that same ‘I can’t believe this is happening’ feeling running through them. Too good to be true... And yet they were true. Why was it so hard to understand? She could wrap her head around new magical theories and knowledge instantly, but this... emotional stuff was a lot harder to remember, to learn... or even understand.

_My head is quick, but my heart is slow,_ she thought. _And Lilith is letting me take my time_... The fact that right here, right now, there was no pressure to _perform;_ that she could just _be_... That meant the world to her. Something tight in her mind opened up. She didn’t know what it was or if it even had a name, she just felt an immense relief.

Amity’s breathing grew a tad shaky and Lilith hugged her a little tighter, then resumed stroking her back. The tears didn’t last long. After Amity had wiped her cheeks, she looked up at Lilith. Lilith smiled at her warmly, then planted another gentle kiss at her hairline.

“Do you feel ready to get up?” she asked softly.

Amity nodded, her pale face now sporting rosy cheeks and a little smile. 

##  ****5** **

“Your plates are in the oven,” Eda said and gestured over her shoulder with her fork when Lilith and Amity stepped into the kitchen. Eda, Luz and King had already started their dinner.

“Thank you,” Lilith said, giving Eda and Luz a nod of gratitude. “Why don’t you have a seat, my dear?” She squeezed Amity’s shoulder gently, then turned back to Eda. “Edalyn, could I trouble you for a dose of Vosker’s?”

“Sure thing, sis. Tea for you, Amity?” Eda wiped her face on a napkin and got to her feet.

“Um. Yes, please,” Amity said as she took a seat next to Luz.

“You okay?” Luz asked quietly as Lilith and Eda moved around the kitchen.

Amity took a moment to think.

“Pretty okay,” she whispered back. She looked at Luz’s softly smiling face. “Um... Do you ever... feel... really bad before uh... you know, your... _time?”_

Luz’s eyebrows rose.

“Oh, uh... sure. Sometimes. I can get a little... _achy?_ And tired. And bloated.” She finished with a half smile.

Amity nodded, a relieved look on her face.

“Is that what’s going on?” Luz asked in a soft voice, her head turning slightly to the side.

Amity nodded again, blushing.

“Aw, I’m sorry...” Luz reached out and took Amity’s hand. “Looking at cute stuff makes me feel better, do you have something like that?”

Amity blinked at Luz in surprise, then shook her head and shrugged.

“It’s... nice though. To look at, I mean.”

“We could have dessert in the living room with blankets and stuff and get all cozy!” Luz smiled, getting more excited by the second. “I’ve got _so_ many videos to show you, it’ll be great! Eda, we could have dessert in the living room, right?”

“Sure, why not,” Eda said as she handed Amity a fresh hot water bottle and a cup of tea. “Make sure to show her the hiccuping and farting cat - it’s fan _-tas-_ tic _.”_

“ ** _ **Ob**_** _viously_ ,” Luz rolled her eyes and grinned up at Eda.

“That’s my girl,” Eda wrinkled her nose at Luz and ruffled her hair as she passed behind her.

_Lilith does the nose thing, too,_ Amity thought and looked across the table at Lilith with a faint smile. Lilith met it with a slightly confused one of her own, then looked meaningfully at the tea cup in front of Amity, then back up at her, now wearing a softer expression - as if she had just said the word ‘please’ out loud. Amity picked up her cup and blew on it before taking a sip.

Eda sat down on her chair and plonked down a chipped mug with a teddy bear on it in front of Lilith.

“Gonna need to raid your garden again soon, we’re running low.”

Lilith’s hand paused in the act of reaching for the potion.

“Are you sure you can spare it, then?” Lilith asked, trying to damp down her disappointment.

“Yeah, yeah, we’re not gonna need more for... I don’t know, few more days? A week?” Eda waved her hand, as if it was of no consequence.

“You gave me your entire stock?” Lilith asked in surprise.

“More or less.”

Lilith blew out a breath through her nose and said; “Edalyn,” in a both guilty and disapproving tone.

“Drink up, ya big baby,” Eda chuckled, then took another bite of food. When Lilith didn’t immediately act, Eda let out an amused huff and rolled her eyes impressively.

Lilith countered with an eye-roll of her own, then looked away. When she looked back at the table, she met Amity’s gaze again. Amity held it a moment, then looked meaningfully at the cup, then back up into Lilith’s eyes. There was a hint of concern on her face now that melted away Lilith’s hesitation; she reached for the cup.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again Jess for BETA reading!
> 
> I wrote this because my PMS symptoms can get pretty damn bad, especially the emotional side of things. Thankfully, after the surgery I had in December, the symptoms seem to be getting a tad less horrendous. Or maybe it’s because some good stuff has happened lately and I’ve got some extra serotonin whirling around in my brain - whatever the case, I’ll take it. 
> 
> I realized that I hadn’t really brought up PMS in the story previously and that I really should, because if there’s something that gets talked about even less than, and taken even less seriously than cramps - it’s PMS symptoms. Because PMS has been made a punchline. Because patriarchy. So I’m talking about it. Extreme PMS symptoms can be a sign of something being up with your hormone levels or PMDD (Pre Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder), PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome) or endometriosis or fibroids - or a whole bunch of other things. So if you’ve got a lot going on in that department - talk about it with a doctor or at least a friend. We’ve been conditioned to keep everything about periods to ourselves. Let’s break the silence. I was silent for such a long time and it really, really didn’t have to be that way. If your doctor doesn’t listen to you, you can change doctors. Sucks to have to do that, but do it anyway. 
> 
> So why isn’t Lilith telling Amity that there are things she should look out for, or be worried about? The simple answer is; Lilith doesn’t know what she should look out for. You get used to a certain level of things and take that as normal, and you learn to deal with it, in some way. Because you have to. 
> 
> To say it again, these are my experiences, cleaned up, dressed up and spread out across four people. It really shouldn’t feel the way I’ve described in these stories. And it doesn’t have to be to these “extremes" for you to “deserve” medical attention. We don’t have to just take it. We can say “This fucking sucks, help me”.
> 
> The surgery I had in December was a whole fuckload of a mess. It got rescheduled twice in a few days, they had to redo the epidural three times, during the actual procedure I was awake (which was intentional and terrifying) and the epidural wore off early on (which was very much not intentional and the doctors didn’t listen to me when I said I could feel everything that was going on). I have now experienced level 10 pain. If these stories can save even one person from having to go through something like that - good. Great. Fantastic. I’m now recovered from the surgery and my fibroid related symptoms have lessened considerably. So it worked. I just wish it didn’t have to come at the cost of another medical trauma. I’ve learned, for the fifty-eleventh time, that you need to advocate for yourself. If something feels wrong; say something. If someone tries to dismiss you; repeat yourself, but louder. Make a fuss. Sometimes Mx Doctor person needs a bit of a shake to remind them that not everyone works the same. 
> 
> I wish I had known someone who knew about what’s “normal” and what’s not when I was younger. Maybe I could have gotten help much sooner if I’d had some sort of frame of reference. So, talk about it. Listen to people who’re trying to talk to you about it. And for the love of god and all that is holy, take yourselves, your feelings and your pain seriously.
> 
> Do I need to remind you not to ask me when the next part will be out, or poke me about updates in any way, shape or form? No? Has everyone finally understood to not do that? Okay good. 
> 
> Please tell me what you thought about this extra bonus part in the comments/reviews.


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